PGregory Springer doesn’t approve of what I do with movie reviews.  A couple days ago I wrote about Anthony Lane’s review of Darren Aronofsky’s Mother!  I quoted Lane’s description of a silly scene of a poet plying his craft.  The “nimbus of nonsense” that Lane described confirmed my intuition that this movie was one that I could safely skip.  Mr. Springer dissents:

“I think Anthony Lane’s reviews (like Pauline Kael’s) are a form of fancy writing (like poetry) that are worth reading for their own sake, not for a means of deciding if you want to see a movie or not. Critics who are solely consumer guide writers are of no interest to me. Lane wisely doesn’t give star ratings. His description of the creative process of writing poems is very funny, but finding something unrealistic about “Mother!” is not a good reason to skip it. Nothing is realistic about that movie, increasingly so as it goes along. I mean, really, it begins with Cain and Abel and ends with the Apocalypse. Darren Aronofsky’s last movie wasn’t the surreal “Noah!” for nothing.”

Greg’s right on the facts, but wrong on his conclusions.  Lane’s reviews are an art form and are worth reading for their own sake.  “Nimbus of nonsense” is a phrase that I very much look foward to stealing (or at least quoting) at the first opportunity.  Lane offers more than fancy writing though.  He makes judgments and couches them in clear unambigous language.  Lane is unafraid to take on sacred cows.

Here’s Anthony Lane on House of Spirits a movie based on Isabel Allende’s novel about during the military coup in Chile: “This is really quite an achievement. It brings together Jeremy Irons, Meryl Streep, Winona Ryder, Antonio Banderas, and Vanessa Redgrave and insures that, without exception, they all give their worst performances ever.”

Being familiar with Lane’s sensibility, I can use that information to decide to spend the 2 hours and 20 minutes that I might spend watching that film on something more worthwhile.  A thoughtful critic who provides insight and criticism into art plays a very useful role in guiding consumer’s attention toward art that rewards the scrutiny.

Greg also arrives at the wrong conclusions regarding the role that stars play in movie reviews.

Anthony Lane’s views are interesting regardless of the merits of the work that he’s reviewing.  Even, or perhaps especially, if a work is less than stellar.  Upon emerging from a clunker, it’s always worth looking up Lane’s review to see if there’s something there that I’m missing.  Or, more likely, smile as his elegant take down snaps into focus the problems of a lazy or poorly constructed work.

However, there are very few critics as good as Anthony Lane (and even fewer who are allowed to write in the way that Anthony Lane writes).  Most critics are hired to do and actually do a workman-like job of giving their audience a plot summary and enough information for the audience to figure out if this is their cup of tea or not.  They aren’t being paid to educate their audience.

For those critics, the star review tells their readers whether they may safely ignore the review.  You may like summer action blockbusters with incoherent fight scenes.  They are not generally my thing, but there are folks who love Fast & Furious 8.  I well remember the high school acquaintance (let’s call him K) who would literally groan with pleasure when recounting the fight choreography from Chuck Norris films.  Not my thing, but I don’t judge.

When K goes to the newspaper to figure out what to see this weekend, he doesn’t want to pore through a bunch of reviews.  K wants to find the latest thing from Norris/Van Damme/Vin Diesel and figure out if it’s something he’ll enjoy.  If the reviewer gives it one star, K isn’t going to waste 20 minutes reading the review, he’s going to look for something that got at least three stars.  I think that’s fine.

What purpose is served by forcing K to read a review of a Chuck Norris movie whose ultimate conclusion is going to be that this movie is a rote regurgitation of a formula?  It’s 1 star.  K would rather read about the action movie that is worth his time.  K is right about that.